our pals (cute couple, huh?) liz mcmann and mike sawyer

Star Tribune
may 4, 2007

Singles who follow vegetarian or vegan diets often face slim pickings when it comes to romantic partners. Several websites now help them connect.

By HEATHER CIRAS

It's not easy being green. Just ask Michael Sawyer of St Paul. The 34-year-old single father of 7-year-old twins is a vegan. That means he doesn't eat or use any animal products, including eggs, milk or wool. That also means the dating pool is, well, more like a puddle.

Between 1 and 5 percent of the nation's population are vegetarians; about 5 percent of vegetarians are vegan. Single vegans? Sheesh. But Sawyer's one of the lucky ones. About five years ago, Liz McMann, 26, of St Paul started working with him at the Mississippi Market Natural Foods co-op. She was a vegetarian. The two began dating and, about three months later, she, too, was a vegan. They've been dating since.

"I used to date people who weren't vegan," Sawyer said. "Now, I want to be with someone who has similar beliefs in the world."

Eric Brent understands perfectly. A strict vegetarian, Brent, 40, "did a lot of online dating" to find the perfect mate. For him, that perfect mate had to be a vegetarian.

"Finding someone with a common base was what I was looking for," he said. He found her in Diana Hsieh (now Brent). Not only was she a vegetarian, but she was an animal rights advocate. Within a year, the Los Angeles couple were married.

"It's such a blessing," said Diana, 30. She and her husband now work together on a vegetarian website he founded called happycow.net. "I can't imagine living in a household with a person who's cooking meat," she said.

Lettuce love
Finding love among these strict vegetarian singles, the so-called ecosexuals, can be difficult.

"If you have compassion for animals and your soul mate is eating one, you're going to diverge," said Chris Beckley, head of the Vegetarian Society of Colorado in Denver. As a result, Beckley said, the vegetarian population is full of "available, nice single people who are single for a long time."

Lovelorn vegetarians have inspired several websites such as veggiedate.org, veganpassions.com and vegetarianpassions.com. As with match.com and other dating sites, members create profiles of their personal characteristics, likes and dislikes. They then search through the profiles that match their own, looking for that special someone.

Because being vegetarian narrows the playing field, some are forced to date nonvegetarians.

"If you're a vegetarian for health, it might not be a big deal," said veggiedate.org creator Steve Urow. He makes the distinction between vegetarians who don't eat meat for health reasons and vegetarians who don't eat meat for ethical reasons.

Some vegans have a much different view.

"It would be comparable to a strong civil rights advocate dating an old-fashioned racist; just wouldn't work," said Paul Amato, a sociologist at Pennsylvania State University who co-wrote "The New Vegetarians: Promoting Health and Protecting Life."There's the meat kisses," said Jason Doucette of Toronto, who created the website veganporn.com, a forum for vegans that has nothing to do with pornography. "Not the greatest thing to think about if you're a vegetarian, what was in that mouth 20 minutes ago."

And while there are some success stories of vegetarians who dated nonvegetarians and converted them, those are rare cases.

"I wouldn't want someone to convert for me," said C.J. Eliasson, 33, of Boulder, Colo., who started the Vegan Chamber of Commerce, an online directory of vegan businesses. "I want them to do it for themselves."

While some vegetarians can't imagine dating an animal eater, some strict vegans won't even date vegetarians. That makes dating a more daunting task than it is for the rest of the population.

"I did date a vegetarian briefly," said Doucette, a vegan. "She'd order something, and I couldn't eat off her plate. That didn't last too long, but I think there were deeper issues."

Others stand their ground.

"I'm considered extremely picky because I won't date anyone but a vegan," Eliasson said. "It does make it difficult."

A way of life, not a way to eat
For vegans, avoiding animal products is a lifestyle, not a diet. Many vegans are active in the animal rights and environmental movements. Because these issues are so important to them, many want them to be important to the people they date, as well.

"I think when you're dating someone, there's a couple of factors you can't compromise on," Urow said. "I think the vegan lifestyle is a big enough thing for some people to not compromise on."

Veganpassions.com and vegetarianpassions.com will connect vegetarians with nonvegetarians, but at veggiedate.org, all members must be vegetarian to some degree. The site lists different levels of vegetarianism: "almost vegetarian,"vegetarian" and "veggie/veganish."

Sarah Eades, 49, a registered nurse in Bloomington, Ind., is "semi-vegetarian" because she had to add meat back to her diet for health reasons. She signed up for veggiedate.org because she feels comfortable with the vegetarian lifestyle. She has been corresponding with a man named Bob for the past two months. Bob's profile, she said, seemed open to those who weren't strictly vegetarian.

"His wording didn't indicate that he was 'Nazi-like' about being vegetarian," she said.

But dating is still difficult.

"Dating in general is hard," Beckley said. "In a good marriage or relationship, you have common interests and different interests. There are enough common interests to keep you together."It's a matter of how you approach it," said Doucette, who met his girlfriend of five years while volunteering at a vegetarian association.

"Then again, you can always make vegans," he said, referring to meat eaters and vegetarians who convert to stricter diets. "If it goes well, you can make a bunch of little vegans."

Heather Ciras is a master's candidate at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in New York.

Staff writer Gail Rosenblum contributed to this story.

fast and furless also recommends
check out our los angeles friends zel and reuben allen's first-rate website vegetarians in paradise. click on "links we love" under "directories" (bottom left), then "dating."